10 March 2013

Up until recently, I've had my life all planned out and everything was figured out - well figured out for me anyway.

Now at the ripe age of 21, I've been living out of home for a year and a half now and things aren't the same anymore. There really is no going back.

It all changed when I got booted out of home, one day my parents decided that I was a bad seed despite me doing everything they've ever wanted. I guess it was really more of a generational gap as well as different morals and values.

I moved straight in with my partner of 6 months at the time and life definitely changed, I learnt all about frustrations. The frustrations of finances, cleaning up after people who aren't you, commitment, living with people whom you didn't like, lying, anxiety attacks, family politics, work politics, responsibility and so much more. At the same time I gained plenty of knowledge about wanting what I actually want, only to discover that I didn't know what I wanted. For so long I've just wanted what my parents wanted that I never had time to figure out me and you know what to be completely honest sometimes I still feel myself wanting things for myself because my partner wants it for me.

Now after having almost 2 years of figuring myself out, I still just don't know and you know what? I'm not even close.